Time is one of those things that, when you haven't had it in a really long time, you're not sure what to do with it when you finally get some.
Sometimes gaining extra time actually makes you feel like you're at a loss for something else.
It's no more possible to teach a child (or an adult) who is throwing a temper-tantrum the strategies needed to calm down, than it is to teach a drowning person to swim.
Be proactive by watching for those things that trigger the tantrum. Then, when the child is in a 'safe place', you can teach those strategies that will keep them from 'going under'!
Even better, model how you control your own temper when you are ready to lose it. I've put myself in 'time out' more times than I'd like to count. :)
The other night, as I was driving home after a 10 hour work day, I really wanted to purchase a nice bottle of Cabernet so I could treat myself to a glass of wine when I finally arrived home. However, I knew we were low on milk so I needed to stop for a gallon so the kids could have their cereal in the morning. I simply didn't have the energy to make two separate stops. I thought to myself that it was seriously too bad that I couldn't find both items in one place!! But alas, I know that in Connecticut, I cannot buy wine at a corner market or gas station, no matter how hard I wish for it to be 'a thing' or how many times I pop in to 'give them another chance'. It reminded me of some common sense advice I had heard a long time ago:
You cannot go to the hardware store to buy a loaf of bread!
Do you optimistically walk into the hardware store looking for bread... even when you know darn well it’s not offered there? Do you find yourself angry with the owner of the store because he doesn't have what you need? Keep in mind that it's not his fault.... he never promised to sell you bread!
We have to stop expecting that the bread will someday miraculously appear at the hardware store. It's time to face the harsh reality that the reason we are not getting what we want from the 'corner market of life' is that we’re shopping at the wrong store. If the store doesn't carry what we need, it's OK. Don't take it personally. Just move along to the next place because what you're looking for could be waiting for you in abundance just inside the door!
Cindy Gagne Teixeira
Just like you, I wear many hats. I'm a mom, a teacher, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and a writer. I choose to laugh (and talk... and write) about my problems because crying takes too much time.